Making Bank
by icestorm98
Summary: Ever wonder why Carmen never seems completely upset about a heist getting broken up or how VILE never seems to run out of money for gadgets despite losing the stolen goods to ACME all the time?


Making Bank

Synopsis: Ever wonder why Carmen never seems completely upset about a heist getting broken or how VILE never seems to run out of money for gadgets despite losing the stolen goods to ACME all the time?

Disclaimer: I most definitely do not own any organization or character from the Carmen Sandiego Universes, game or TV show. I do take responsibility for Finn and Buck though, for good or ill.

* * *

Buck Rooni walked into the V.I.L.E lunch room after his first heist. The boss lady had been on a railroad kick, stealing things from the original copy of _Murder on the Orient Express_, some classic silent movie _Ride on a Runaway Train_, and the Golden Spike from Utah. It had been exciting and Buck was still grinning from ear to ear. Plus they had managed get away scotch free. Not even those ACME brats could stop them this time. Buck still wasn't sure what the point of stealing those things was, but who cared. It wasn't his job to make plans just follow them.

Spotting an extra seat the henchman settled down to eat before his next training session. He was definitely getting past level 7 this time dang it! Buck was just biting into his sandwich when another duo joined the table, apparently in a very heated argument.

"I'm telling you, the boss is going to run us into the ground at this rate if she doesn't stop toying with those ACME agents! They always seem to catch up and take our steals right out from under us and we're lucky if we make it out without cuffs!" Touriest Classe spat out, only just refraining from slamming his tray down. He had already attracted a few glances in the noisy cafeteria.

"Please Touriest, you are over reacting. Carmen pulls off plenty of heists without ACME any the wiser," a middle aged man, who's yellow dress shirt, well worn brown slacks, and bold rimmed glasses screamed paper pusher, suggested. Buck did not need to relay on his training to see how tired this guy seemed or to know that it was most definitely not because he tried the obstacle course one too many times. "Besides, she always breaks you guys out if you end up someplace dicey. I for one would like a break from this place." The man commented before digging into his chicken.

"That's all fine and good for you to say Finn. You've never been to prison!" Touriest all but shouted again, making Buck cringe and glance around for another seat.

"True but if it you aren't there it can only be better than this place!" Finn snapped back before gesturing to Buck. "Am I right or am I right?" Buck held up his hands to ward off the pair.

"Oh no, don't pull me into this. I don't even know what you're fighting about." The poor boy said as he shook his head. But it seemed it that nothing he did short of running away would get him out of this, especially when Touriest grabbed his wrist. Now Buck was a big guy, 6'8" pretty well conditioned if he did say so himself, but that Touriest had a surprisingly strong grip for a decrepit con artist. Not that Buck could not take him, obviously he could, but Carmen had a strict set of rules for her employees and Buck was not too keen on finding out exactly how they were enforced just yet.

"We're talking about Carmen trailing those little ACME kids behind her on every big case. What's your name newbie?" The conman interjected and it was all Buck could do not to sigh.

"Buck Rooni, joined up about a month ago. You guys?" He asked, hoping to derail the argument if possible. Not the biggest problem, Buck had learned early on that many of the higher level henchmen in VILE loved the chance to talk about themselves.

"I am Touriest Classe, one of the best confidence men to ever live! I assist Carmen whenever she goes for artwork. After all, a true masterpiece cannot just be yanked up into the sky. No no no, they must be carefully handled, carried in special clothe so as not to damage the integrity of the piece. They are not rocks or some silly statue, no they are priceless representations of a time most of us will never know without using the boss's time machine or something equally ridiculous." Touriest rambled while Buck tried to hide his own grin, man were these guys predictable.

"If the artwork is so precious how could you let Carmen cut up those pieces a while back, what were they? Some Van goh, DaVinci, the…nose piece?" Finn asked, clearly not impressed. Touriest grimaced and looked down at the table.

"She was very persuasive…" He muttered into his pasta while Finn laughed out. "HEY! I don't know how it is in your branch but when in my line of command if Carmen asks for something you better darn well do it or else."

Curious, and once again trying to defuse the situation Buck cut in, "I didn't catch your name by the way." Finn stopped glaring at Touriest long enough for Buck to catch the surprise in his eyes.

"Heh, nobody much cares who I am normally. I like you kid. My name is Finn Ancial, I've worked in V.I.L.E's accounting department for the past five years. You would be surprised how much juggling we have to do with international accounts to keep this place up and running semi-legally." Finn said proudly while Buck just looked confused.

"Wait, we have an accounting department?" He said stupidly. Finn laughed while Touriest snickered into his pasta.

"You will learn that all the best organizations have a solid banker newbie," Touriest put in, "Having reliable funds is what makes all those incredible escapes the boss pulls off possible. Not that she would need to if she stopped playing with those kids…" He muttered again.

"I'm telling you, you do not need to worry about that sort of thing. Only a fraction of our money comes from the actual goods stolen in those heists." Finn argued again, clearly tired of the conman.

"Really?" Buck asked, "I thought the whole point of V.I.L.E was to steal things and make bank?"

Finn grinned at the new kid's naivety. "Oh stealing things is the point of V.I.L.E but the actual items are not the goal for Carmen. What she does it for is the challenge. Everybody in this organization learns that sooner or later. After all, she was once one of those ACME brats, as Mr. Classe so nicely put it. Watch her and you'll learn she has a code, it's a really warped code, but a code none the less."

Buck frowned, of course he knew that. Who did not know the story of Carmen Sandiago's fall from grace or how her heists were so well executed barely any trace remained behind to implicate her unless she wanted it to. Or even how rarely people were even injured chasing her, regardless of the fact that they regularly ended up falling from the sky or crashing their vehicles. "I get that," he shot back indignantly, like a kid, "What I don't get is how we are getting paid if we keep losing the loot." He explained, crossing his arms. Touriest looked up from his pasta to nod his agreement.

Finn gave them a blank look before realizing what the problem really was. "Oooooh, right, uh, well it's a lot of little things really. We make plenty of investments and take Carmen's heists into account. You'd be surprised how many people buy mediocre security systems whenever Carmen hits their area, shares have a habit of sky rocketing. Then you have the few cover organizations we run, those are completely legal besides the whole fronting V.I.L.E thing. After all, no one ever expects a box company of even existing."

Buck only looked more confused while Touriest seemed to calm down and nod. Hey, high school does not exactly prepare one enough to understand the complicated accounting of the most well known illegal organization in the world. Heck, high school barely helped him pass level one of that dang obstacle course. "Uh, right," he managed lamely, making Finn smile even more.

"Don't get me wrong kid, we still handle the typical money laundering often enough. And you would be surprised at how much stuff Carmen took on the sly just because she wants it. Don't forget, code or no code, the woman is a hard core klepto." Finn explained, taking mercy on the rookie. "Actually our many source of funding would surprise you."

"What is it?" Buck asked automatically, lunch forgotten on his trey. Finn gave another smirk, Buck swore this man found this whole conversation hilarious.

"The places we break into. Museums, businesses, countries, they actually pay really well if we find flaws in their security systems so long as they get their goods back. There are representatives of V.I.L.E that trade back any goods and Carmen's own notes on the holes in their systems. Makes quite the tidy profit it does." Finn explained and Buck just looked gob smacked.

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope, not a bit."

"Huh." The new henchman just sat there for a bit, totally befuddled. "But…but why would she tell them how to fix their system? Wouldn't that just make it harder when she really wants to steal something?" Buck asked eventually when Finn and Touriest had turned back to their food.

Touriest laughed loudly and Finn gave that half smirk that Buck would learn quickly to associate with the accountant. "Exactly."


End file.
